WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
