Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think I just sharted jello shots
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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