turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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