then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
