you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
