i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
