you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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