Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
