Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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