Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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