shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize
