I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
