hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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