We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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