I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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