i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
