She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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