So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
