I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
