OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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