U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Houston, we have a squirter
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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