It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
