so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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