let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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