just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Less talking, more tequila
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
this is an emotional support booty call
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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