That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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