His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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