dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
