I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
