I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
