I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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