How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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