Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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