I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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