'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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