There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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