I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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