You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Come see our sink grown plant.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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