Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
