i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
