guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
