I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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