Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
