are you so shy because you have an std?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
