Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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