Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
