you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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