benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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