My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
