he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
